No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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