i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
