i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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