So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
