i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize