Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
