So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How external is "for external use only"?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
