i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
