True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
