i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and she was petting her beer can
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
