I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
