make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
