the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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