Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
