arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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