Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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