theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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