is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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