your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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