I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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