clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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