We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize