just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just had sex on a roof
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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