I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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