Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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