I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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