Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
