omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i will never coherently bang her
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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