She's JV to your varsity
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
