No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't think brook has ever known best
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
