New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
