it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
