I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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