this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
4 words: hood of his car
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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