my phone needs a breathalizer
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
