I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
