PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
