it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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