also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
