i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
