Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
