I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
