And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
