Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Text me some of your sweat
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
