When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
