In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
