then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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