Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize