similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
