Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
