Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
