Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
