he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize