YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
