I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
