As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
