Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
